I was sitting there minding my own business when this Credit Monster came running into the room and told me that the government was buying my mortgage from my bank and I had three days to get out of Dodge City, USA or they would be forced to confiscate the future of my children through excessive and unwarranted taxation.
How did things get this bad? I wasn’t doing anything to get myself into trouble. All I wanted was a big mansion of my own. So what if I couldn’t afford it. The bank told me that didn’t matter. So what if I didn’t have enough income to pay the interest on the mortgage. The real estate agent told me he would make up the numbers so no one would know, and no one cared anyway.
You can’t blame that on me, can you? You can’t say that I’m responsible. I have never been responsible for anything in my whole life. Now I have to live in my taxi because the Credit Monster is going to foreclose on my home. I wish I was dealing with a cookie monster. I am getting lonely, and at least that way I would have someone following me around
It’s their fault. I mean the Credit Monsters. I need help. How could anyone expect me to know what that long contract I signed said? I can’t even read. I had to get a friend of mine to take my taxi and limousine test so I could get my chauffeurs license. How could they let a poor snook like me buy a big five-bedroom mansion with an Olympic size pool? I don’t even swim. Where I grew up there were no bodies of water, only dead bodies encased in concrete.
Now they tell me it is up to me to fund hundreds of billions in debt to save the Nation. They say it’s my patriotic duty. I can’t even fund my ex wife’s alimony payments for child support. I don’t think they are my kids anyway; at least not the two younger ones. Why don’t you tax them?
How could this be happening to me? I am drowning in a sea of debt that the government made me guarantee, or they said it would be my fault that the economy collapsed. I repeat I don’t swim. I don’t want to drown in a sea of anything. I have already physically and mentally collapsed. What more do they want?
It’s not my debt I tell you. Is anyone listening? Can anyone hear me? What am I to do? I bet there are millions of people out there that feel the same as me. Who is going to protect us? Who is going to look after out interests? We need a lobbyist. I just wish we could afford one. Then we would show this Credit Monster a thing or two.
Why should the rich Wall Street types have all the fun while we pay their debts when they screw up? I can mess things up just fine on my own like they have? Don’t tell me I don’t know how to screw up. Where is our government when we need it? Who is going to help us now and look after our interests? This isn’t fair. Who is going to take responsibility for all this bad mortgage debt?
This is not our fault, is it? Who can we turn to for help when our own government isn’t really on our side? I think it’s their fault. They created this Credit Monster, didn’t they? You can’t tax a government, can you? Some one is going to have to pay for this mess and it isn’t going to be us again, is it?
All these questions and no one appears to have the answers. What are we going to do? I’m talking about we the people. We are drowning in a sea of fiscal irresponsibility and emotional despair. And these are shark-infested waters. You know who the sharks are, don’t you?
*****
For more articles on life, literature, holidays, traditions and tricks and treats, please join us at http://johnnyoops.blogspot.com
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Fire Island Homes Opens International Division
Fire Island, NY – The largest Real Estate Agency on Fire Island has started an International Division to cater to increasing International demand for prime vacation property and homes in the United States.
Fire Island, NY, nestled between the Atlantic Ocean and the Great South Bay off of Long Island, NY offers the finest in vacation living close to the major cosmopolitan area of New York City. It is a magnet for people who know what they want and have reached a stage in their lives when they can afford the very best.
Dedicated to presenting one-of-a-kind Properties and homes of distinction, Fire Island Homes is culling its large group of listings to offer the very best in leisure living opportunities to a demanding international clientele starting with a select few choice homes and properties that they know will have a broad appeal to an elite international clientele.
Fire Island provides leisure living in a quiet relaxed atmosphere. It offers a number of small elite communities recognized for offering its residents the diamonds and rubies of US vacation living on the shores of an emerald Green Atlantic ocean.
European and International visitors from other countries are actively looking for prime US real estate for investment purposes and to satisfy their desires to have an American vacation home. Fire Island Homes will cater to these desires with their new International Division, which will be personally managed by Brian and Laura Smith, the owners of Fire Island Homes.
Choice properties will be added to the listings for the International Division as they come up always keeping in mind the distinctive tastes and needs of an International audience. Fire Island Homes with the largest selection of listings on Fire Island is uniquely positioned to provide the finest personalized service to the International set.
Potential International buyers are encouraged to review our initial listings at http://www.fihomes.net/Fire_Island_Luxury_Sales.htm and to contact Laura or Brian Smith personally by e-mail contact form or phone so that their Individual requirements can be attended to.
*****
Contact:
Brian or Laura Smith
Fire Island Homes LLC
http://www.fihomes.net/Fire_Island_Luxury_Sales.htm
631-583-6661
Smith11770@aol.com
Fire Island, NY, nestled between the Atlantic Ocean and the Great South Bay off of Long Island, NY offers the finest in vacation living close to the major cosmopolitan area of New York City. It is a magnet for people who know what they want and have reached a stage in their lives when they can afford the very best.
Dedicated to presenting one-of-a-kind Properties and homes of distinction, Fire Island Homes is culling its large group of listings to offer the very best in leisure living opportunities to a demanding international clientele starting with a select few choice homes and properties that they know will have a broad appeal to an elite international clientele.
Fire Island provides leisure living in a quiet relaxed atmosphere. It offers a number of small elite communities recognized for offering its residents the diamonds and rubies of US vacation living on the shores of an emerald Green Atlantic ocean.
European and International visitors from other countries are actively looking for prime US real estate for investment purposes and to satisfy their desires to have an American vacation home. Fire Island Homes will cater to these desires with their new International Division, which will be personally managed by Brian and Laura Smith, the owners of Fire Island Homes.
Choice properties will be added to the listings for the International Division as they come up always keeping in mind the distinctive tastes and needs of an International audience. Fire Island Homes with the largest selection of listings on Fire Island is uniquely positioned to provide the finest personalized service to the International set.
Potential International buyers are encouraged to review our initial listings at http://www.fihomes.net/Fire_Island_Luxury_Sales.htm and to contact Laura or Brian Smith personally by e-mail contact form or phone so that their Individual requirements can be attended to.
*****
Contact:
Brian or Laura Smith
Fire Island Homes LLC
http://www.fihomes.net/Fire_Island_Luxury_Sales.htm
631-583-6661
Smith11770@aol.com
Friday, September 5, 2008
Answer The Question
Today with the Computer, Voice Mail, Email, and the Internet in general acting as a buffer, people don’t have to respond to a question directly.
What happened to a direct, look in your eye response? Why can’t today’s generation answer a question?
Even in person people have become non-responsive. When asked why a mistake was made the answer has become, I can’t answer that right now or I’ll get back to you.
Answer the question.
When asked if it’s going to be a boy or a girl the answer is we are not telling anyone.
When asked if you are voting democratic or republican in the upcoming election the answer is that’s my personal business or I haven’t decided. What are you ashamed of?
When asked if you are for or against the Surge in the Iraq war the answer is it hasn’t worked politically yet. Are you for it or against it?
Are you for or against defending the nation militarily if necessary?
Answer the question.
Are you pro life or pro choice or neither?
Are you prejudiced or color blind or bigoted?
Does anything really matter to you or are you just going with the flow?
Are you prepared to make a commitment or not?
Answer the question.
Do you really know who you are and what you stand for?
Do you have an opinion on anything?
We have become a nation of non-responders, a mass of zombie like blobs walking around without a sense of commitment to our families, our country, or ourselves.
We are trying to live life on the safe side by not responding to the questions life raises.
We are trying to avoid confrontation by keeping our opinions to ourselves.
We are attempting to be on both sides of the important issues of our times in order to eliminate the possibility of creating a hostile atmosphere or conflict.
You can’t have it both ways. In order to make a difference, in order to effect a more perfect union both nationally, internationally, and personally, we are going to have to take a stand.
Is this no man’s land of decision making capability the way you want to live? Don’t you want to make a difference? Do you care enough to want to do something worthwhile with your life?
Answer the question.
*****
What happened to a direct, look in your eye response? Why can’t today’s generation answer a question?
Even in person people have become non-responsive. When asked why a mistake was made the answer has become, I can’t answer that right now or I’ll get back to you.
Answer the question.
When asked if it’s going to be a boy or a girl the answer is we are not telling anyone.
When asked if you are voting democratic or republican in the upcoming election the answer is that’s my personal business or I haven’t decided. What are you ashamed of?
When asked if you are for or against the Surge in the Iraq war the answer is it hasn’t worked politically yet. Are you for it or against it?
Are you for or against defending the nation militarily if necessary?
Answer the question.
Are you pro life or pro choice or neither?
Are you prejudiced or color blind or bigoted?
Does anything really matter to you or are you just going with the flow?
Are you prepared to make a commitment or not?
Answer the question.
Do you really know who you are and what you stand for?
Do you have an opinion on anything?
We have become a nation of non-responders, a mass of zombie like blobs walking around without a sense of commitment to our families, our country, or ourselves.
We are trying to live life on the safe side by not responding to the questions life raises.
We are trying to avoid confrontation by keeping our opinions to ourselves.
We are attempting to be on both sides of the important issues of our times in order to eliminate the possibility of creating a hostile atmosphere or conflict.
You can’t have it both ways. In order to make a difference, in order to effect a more perfect union both nationally, internationally, and personally, we are going to have to take a stand.
Is this no man’s land of decision making capability the way you want to live? Don’t you want to make a difference? Do you care enough to want to do something worthwhile with your life?
Answer the question.
*****
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Venting 101
I need to get this off my chest. I’m really tired of not being able to get a live operator when I call customer service, and this is just the beginning. I’ve tried three things to get to a live person in the United State, not India.
1. Keep hitting zero on the telephone keypad no matter what the canned voice has to say.
2. Call the Presidents office and speak to a third in line junior secretary and work yourself up to a number two administrative assistant.
3. Hit number 2 for speaking Spanish, and keep shouting over the phone ‘No habla Englishe” over and over until an operator comes on. She may only speak Spanish, but at least she will be a real human being. I find this works best.
This is just the beginning. I am only getting warmed up.
I hate it when I am about to miss a bus by about one foot or two seconds, and the bus driver is studiously looking as hard as he can away from you at the traffic in the other lane because he wants to make the light.
This takes guts, but if you’re mad enough it is worth it. Jump out in front of the bus in the middle of the street, take out a pen and piece of paper, and very slowly start to write down the numbers on the bus. Be sure to take long enough for the bus driver to miss the light, and then bang on the door. This time he will open up. Refuse to get on at first. Tell the bus driver you just want his operators number so that you can file a complaint with the Mayor.
I love this one. You will get the bus driver so screwed up he will probably miss the next light trying to convince you to get on. Life can be beautiful.
If you are too old to jump in front of the bus, whack it with you cane on the side as loudly as you can. If you don’t have a cane yet you are probably middle-aged. Just be thankful you got this far and take the next bus. Throwing rocks is forbidden.
How am I doing?
If the check out girl at the local supermarket has just packed your hot barbequed chicken in the same shopping bag with your cold vanilla ice cream stay calm. Quietly ask her if she has a second bag. Remove the hot chicken and repack in the new bag. Then tell her you don’t want the ice cream because it is melting from the hot chicken. The clerk will have to call over the store manager to approve the return. Tell the manager what happened and that if he doesn’t give you the ice cream for free you will return his chicken too because to tell he truth it is not so hot either. This will probably work. If it doesn’t insist on returning both items and repurchasing new items and going to a different clerk. At this point the manager will probably give you both items for free to get rid of you.
This is only the beginning. I am just blowing off steam. I have to vent. If you have suggestions please leave them on the comment section of my blog.
1. Keep hitting zero on the telephone keypad no matter what the canned voice has to say.
2. Call the Presidents office and speak to a third in line junior secretary and work yourself up to a number two administrative assistant.
3. Hit number 2 for speaking Spanish, and keep shouting over the phone ‘No habla Englishe” over and over until an operator comes on. She may only speak Spanish, but at least she will be a real human being. I find this works best.
This is just the beginning. I am only getting warmed up.
I hate it when I am about to miss a bus by about one foot or two seconds, and the bus driver is studiously looking as hard as he can away from you at the traffic in the other lane because he wants to make the light.
This takes guts, but if you’re mad enough it is worth it. Jump out in front of the bus in the middle of the street, take out a pen and piece of paper, and very slowly start to write down the numbers on the bus. Be sure to take long enough for the bus driver to miss the light, and then bang on the door. This time he will open up. Refuse to get on at first. Tell the bus driver you just want his operators number so that you can file a complaint with the Mayor.
I love this one. You will get the bus driver so screwed up he will probably miss the next light trying to convince you to get on. Life can be beautiful.
If you are too old to jump in front of the bus, whack it with you cane on the side as loudly as you can. If you don’t have a cane yet you are probably middle-aged. Just be thankful you got this far and take the next bus. Throwing rocks is forbidden.
How am I doing?
If the check out girl at the local supermarket has just packed your hot barbequed chicken in the same shopping bag with your cold vanilla ice cream stay calm. Quietly ask her if she has a second bag. Remove the hot chicken and repack in the new bag. Then tell her you don’t want the ice cream because it is melting from the hot chicken. The clerk will have to call over the store manager to approve the return. Tell the manager what happened and that if he doesn’t give you the ice cream for free you will return his chicken too because to tell he truth it is not so hot either. This will probably work. If it doesn’t insist on returning both items and repurchasing new items and going to a different clerk. At this point the manager will probably give you both items for free to get rid of you.
This is only the beginning. I am just blowing off steam. I have to vent. If you have suggestions please leave them on the comment section of my blog.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Happy Father’s Day – How Am I Doing?
I have been at this Father’s Day thing for a long time, but I still get a kick out of my now grown children calling and visiting and even taking my wife and I out to dinner – when it fits into their schedule of course.
I wonder how happy they would have been if I paid attention to them and their needs and wants based on how it fitted into my schedule. I imagine they would not be too happy with me.
This is not about them of course. It is about me. I realize I have taken a long time to get around to asking myself this question, but how am I doing?
I wonder if I measure up as a father in my children’s eyes. The reason I ask this now that it is too late to do anything about it is not that I’m questioning my parenting skills, it is just that I would like to know that I did something right when it came to raising my children.
Funny, the older I get the more important my child raising days become. I don’t know how my wife feels about this since she did most of the child rearing. We don’t talk about anything except the weather any more. That conversation can be stormy enough without getting into personal events.
From prior conversations I’ve had with my kids they think a lot of the decisions my wife and I made about their future were really stupid, although now that they all have children we seem to suddenly have gotten smarter.
I tell them the reason I spoil my grandchildren by buying them too much candy is that I don’t want to make the same mistakes that I made with them. God forbid that my grandchildren grow up thinking that grandpa was a really stingy bastard.
Anyway I seem to have strayed from the subject. I do that more often now that I have gotten older. What was the subject again?
Oh yes, how am I doing? The best I can come up with because my kids won’t give me a straight answer – afraid of insulting the old man I guess – is that I must be doing all right.
I come to this conclusion because my children are all doing well and happily married and have their own children who one day they may have to answer the question to – how am I doing?
I wonder how happy they would have been if I paid attention to them and their needs and wants based on how it fitted into my schedule. I imagine they would not be too happy with me.
This is not about them of course. It is about me. I realize I have taken a long time to get around to asking myself this question, but how am I doing?
I wonder if I measure up as a father in my children’s eyes. The reason I ask this now that it is too late to do anything about it is not that I’m questioning my parenting skills, it is just that I would like to know that I did something right when it came to raising my children.
Funny, the older I get the more important my child raising days become. I don’t know how my wife feels about this since she did most of the child rearing. We don’t talk about anything except the weather any more. That conversation can be stormy enough without getting into personal events.
From prior conversations I’ve had with my kids they think a lot of the decisions my wife and I made about their future were really stupid, although now that they all have children we seem to suddenly have gotten smarter.
I tell them the reason I spoil my grandchildren by buying them too much candy is that I don’t want to make the same mistakes that I made with them. God forbid that my grandchildren grow up thinking that grandpa was a really stingy bastard.
Anyway I seem to have strayed from the subject. I do that more often now that I have gotten older. What was the subject again?
Oh yes, how am I doing? The best I can come up with because my kids won’t give me a straight answer – afraid of insulting the old man I guess – is that I must be doing all right.
I come to this conclusion because my children are all doing well and happily married and have their own children who one day they may have to answer the question to – how am I doing?
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I’m Writing As Fast As I Can
I wake up every morning and rush to my computer to start writing. I don’t even stop for coffee or to make a pit stop until I get my first thoughts of the day down. I am writing as fast as I can because I don’t want to forget or lose any of the thoughts I have stuffed into my head; my dreams, my hopes for the future, my imagination run wild.
It is a compulsion I admit, but then where would we be if we weren’t driven by one thought or goal or another? Where would we be if we tempered down our emotions to the point that we were acting more like robots than humans? Where would we be if we substituted mundane function for thought provoking instinct and action? Where would we be if we let our inhibitions keep us from being the creative and vibrant human beings that we are capable of being?
I can’t imagine the day when I don’t avail myself of the opportunity to create something new at my computer keyboard. I have all these things to say; that’s why I am writing as fast as I can.
What about you? Are you taking advantage of one form of communication or another to express yourself? Are you doing all you can to add to the general good by expressing yourself? Are you allowing yourself to be creative?
You don’t have to be a writer to express yourself or your feelings. You can do it at work, or with a gesture to a loved one, or by humming a favorite tune. You can do it with a smile, or a comforting word to someone in need of your friendship and good thoughts. You can even do it just by the feelings of good will that you share with others.
I think we all need to find a way to express ourselves, and to let our imaginations run wild. We can’t keep our emotions in a box. We have to let other people know how we really feel.
That’s why I’m urging you to express yourself. Go ahead and let your true feeling out. The time is now for you to take action. You could begin to feel wonderful.
There, don’t you feel better? I know that I do.
Hi, this is Arthur Levine, to find out how I express myself in my writings, please go to: http://johnnyoops.blogspot.com.
It is a compulsion I admit, but then where would we be if we weren’t driven by one thought or goal or another? Where would we be if we tempered down our emotions to the point that we were acting more like robots than humans? Where would we be if we substituted mundane function for thought provoking instinct and action? Where would we be if we let our inhibitions keep us from being the creative and vibrant human beings that we are capable of being?
I can’t imagine the day when I don’t avail myself of the opportunity to create something new at my computer keyboard. I have all these things to say; that’s why I am writing as fast as I can.
What about you? Are you taking advantage of one form of communication or another to express yourself? Are you doing all you can to add to the general good by expressing yourself? Are you allowing yourself to be creative?
You don’t have to be a writer to express yourself or your feelings. You can do it at work, or with a gesture to a loved one, or by humming a favorite tune. You can do it with a smile, or a comforting word to someone in need of your friendship and good thoughts. You can even do it just by the feelings of good will that you share with others.
I think we all need to find a way to express ourselves, and to let our imaginations run wild. We can’t keep our emotions in a box. We have to let other people know how we really feel.
That’s why I’m urging you to express yourself. Go ahead and let your true feeling out. The time is now for you to take action. You could begin to feel wonderful.
There, don’t you feel better? I know that I do.
Hi, this is Arthur Levine, to find out how I express myself in my writings, please go to: http://johnnyoops.blogspot.com.
Friday, May 9, 2008
I JUST CAME FROM THE POST OFFICE
I have been trying to calm down, but I don’t seem to be succeeding. Is the Post Office a government agency, a quasi government agency, or an anti government agency?
I go to the Post Office in New York City. It is a horror. The lines go on and on for the better part of an hour. They have something like 15 teller windows, but usually only a few are manned at a time.
Today was hot so they kept the ceiling fans off and the outdoor fans off I suppose in the hopes that some of the customers couldn’t take the heat and would go home.
After waiting twenty-five minutes the fire alarms started screeching and the manager – we will call him Mr. Blue Stuffed Suit – came running out from his four hour lunch break to tell everyone to run out of the building that this was not a drill. I never saw the postal people move that fast in my life.
Ten minutes later we were let back in. The fire alarms had sensed a melt down because it was so damn hot. Of course it was, the lines were long and the fans weren’t on. Body heat added to climate change and management incompetence had combined to produce a melt down condition. How fitting. How typical of the Postal bureaucracy.
This time I got near the front of the line because most customers gave up and went home, and because some of them were waiting behind a locked side door that never was reopened. Now there were 6 tellers working furiously and all the ceiling fans and the outside fans were working. Of course they were. Mr. Blue Stuffed Suit had been woken up from his nap and was marching up and done in the teller area looking very official.
The finale to my day was when I asked to buy 10 self stick stamps, and the clerk told me the price was going up on Monday to 42 cents from 41 cents – I guess this was a self anointed reward for screwing up how a Post Office should function because there was no notice and no signs. Was the post office – notice I no longer capitalize it - planning to keep this price increase for incompetence a secret so we wouldn’t get mad? I am already mad. Are you mad too? Write to your post office. It probably won’t help, but it might give some postal supervisor a big laugh.
This is just great. I had put 41 cent self addressed stamped envelopes in some letters I just sent out to 2 publishing agents on 2 different novels that I wrote so now I won’t get the rejection letters that usually come back in them. Maybe I am better off.
Maybe I am better off if I stop using the post office altogether. I’ll use Fed Ex and the Internet. They haven’t figured out yet that customer service is dead.
Maybe I’ll complain to my congressmen – notice I no longer capitalize him either. He and a lot of his fellow congressmen and women haven’ figured out yet that we are not voting for them any more.
We want real change, not the kind the special interests have been buying for themselves. We want the kind you can get only through the ballot box. Vote the bums out. I don’t know about you, but I am tired of being sweet-talked and taken advantage of by both political parties.
I want services that work. I want to be treated decently. I want the government to be responsible to the people. I want things to function the way they are supposed to. I want someone to have my best interests at heart.
There, I feel better now that I’ve vented, what about you?
I go to the Post Office in New York City. It is a horror. The lines go on and on for the better part of an hour. They have something like 15 teller windows, but usually only a few are manned at a time.
Today was hot so they kept the ceiling fans off and the outdoor fans off I suppose in the hopes that some of the customers couldn’t take the heat and would go home.
After waiting twenty-five minutes the fire alarms started screeching and the manager – we will call him Mr. Blue Stuffed Suit – came running out from his four hour lunch break to tell everyone to run out of the building that this was not a drill. I never saw the postal people move that fast in my life.
Ten minutes later we were let back in. The fire alarms had sensed a melt down because it was so damn hot. Of course it was, the lines were long and the fans weren’t on. Body heat added to climate change and management incompetence had combined to produce a melt down condition. How fitting. How typical of the Postal bureaucracy.
This time I got near the front of the line because most customers gave up and went home, and because some of them were waiting behind a locked side door that never was reopened. Now there were 6 tellers working furiously and all the ceiling fans and the outside fans were working. Of course they were. Mr. Blue Stuffed Suit had been woken up from his nap and was marching up and done in the teller area looking very official.
The finale to my day was when I asked to buy 10 self stick stamps, and the clerk told me the price was going up on Monday to 42 cents from 41 cents – I guess this was a self anointed reward for screwing up how a Post Office should function because there was no notice and no signs. Was the post office – notice I no longer capitalize it - planning to keep this price increase for incompetence a secret so we wouldn’t get mad? I am already mad. Are you mad too? Write to your post office. It probably won’t help, but it might give some postal supervisor a big laugh.
This is just great. I had put 41 cent self addressed stamped envelopes in some letters I just sent out to 2 publishing agents on 2 different novels that I wrote so now I won’t get the rejection letters that usually come back in them. Maybe I am better off.
Maybe I am better off if I stop using the post office altogether. I’ll use Fed Ex and the Internet. They haven’t figured out yet that customer service is dead.
Maybe I’ll complain to my congressmen – notice I no longer capitalize him either. He and a lot of his fellow congressmen and women haven’ figured out yet that we are not voting for them any more.
We want real change, not the kind the special interests have been buying for themselves. We want the kind you can get only through the ballot box. Vote the bums out. I don’t know about you, but I am tired of being sweet-talked and taken advantage of by both political parties.
I want services that work. I want to be treated decently. I want the government to be responsible to the people. I want things to function the way they are supposed to. I want someone to have my best interests at heart.
There, I feel better now that I’ve vented, what about you?
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